Does it scare you when you find cuts or what appears to be self-harming injuries on your child/teen?
- Paulette Caswell, LICSW
- Jan 26, 2023
- 2 min read
Self-harming can be one of the scariest things parents face with their kids. Most do not understand why their kiddo would intentionally hurt themself. Self-injury can be done with knives, fingernails, nail clippers, teeth, fists, lighters, and many other everyday objects that young people have access to.
Most people assume that if a person is harming themself then they are likely suicidal. What we have learned is that this is not necessarily the case. Self-injury in medical and mental health communities is often referred to as Non-Suicidal Self Injurious (NSSI) behaviors. Research shows that most who self-harm are not doing it with the intent to die. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950
Manage or reduce severe distress or anxiety and provide a sense of relief.
Provide a distraction from painful emotions through physical pain.
Feel a sense of control over the body, feelings, or life situations.
Feel something — anything — even if it's physical pain when feeling emotionally empty.
Express internal feelings in an external way.
Communicate feelings of stress or depression to the outside world.
Punish oneself.
It is important to seek mental health support if you find signs of your child or teen harming themself. Things to look out for: https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-self-harm-at-every-age-6746745
Unexplained cuts, scratches, bruises, or other wounds, often on the wrists, arms, thighs, or torso, which they may explain as the result of accidents
Wearing clothes that cover up the skin, such as long sleeves or long pants, even in hot weather
Impulsive and unstable behavior
Expressing feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Blood stains on bedding, clothing, towels, or tissues
Having sharp objects in their possession, including razors, safety pins, nail scissors, knives, needles, shards of glass, or bottle caps
Spending long periods of time alone, often in the bathroom or bedroom
Increased isolation and social withdrawal
Avoiding situations in which they need to reveal skin, such as swimming or changing in a locker room
Additional Articles to support you:
Research:
Peterson J, Freedenthal S, Sheldon C, Andersen R. Nonsuicidal self injury in adolescents. Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2008;5(11):20-26. PMID:19724714
Stallard P, Spears M, Montgomery AA, Phillips R, Sayal K. Self-harm in young adolescents (12–16 years): Onset and short-term continuation in a community sample. BMC Psychiatry. 2013;13(1):328. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-13-328
Sheehy K, Noureen A, Khaliq A, et al. An examination of the relationship between shame, guilt and self-harm: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review. 2019;73:101779. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2019.101779
Hetrick SE, Subasinghe A, Anglin K, Hart L, Morgan A, Robinson J. Understanding the needs of young people who engage in self-harm: a qualitative investigation. Front Psychol. 2020;10:2916. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02916
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